


There's a Troll In The Dungeons

by postjentacular



Series: Drarropoly 2018 [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drarropoly: A Drarry Game/Fest, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 08:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16828663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postjentacular/pseuds/postjentacular
Summary: Harry Potter’s a complete nightmare before his morning coffee, some might even call him a troll.





	There's a Troll In The Dungeons

Almost three hundred students poured down the main staircase, every single one determined they wouldn't be left with the cold bits of bacon from the bottom of the platter. “James,” Albus hissed a little louder from his spot by The Great Hall doors to attract his brother's attention over the breakfast rush. “James!”

“‘Sup baby bro?” James ambled over, greeting Albus and popping Scorpius on the shoulder for good measure.

“There's a troll in the dungeons,” Albus said.

“Not really sure how that's a ‘me’ problem there?” James grinned, ruffling Albus’ hair exactly the way he hated.

Albus gritted his teeth and tried again, “There's a _Troll_ in the _Dungeons_.”

James’ eyes went wide and he gave a single solemn nod, “You sure?”

“Scorp saw him last night when he went to deliver an owl to his dad.”

James turned to Scorpius who nodded in agreement, “And he wasn't just visiting?” James confirmed.

Scorpius gave a regal snort of disbelief – more like his father than he'd ever admit, “Not unless visiting hours are conducted by candlelight in half a pair of pyjamas.”

“Fuck!” James only ever swore like a Muggle when he was panicked – or trying to impress Teddy.

“Quite,” Scorpius agreed, earning him an elbow in the ribs from Albus.

“Okay, okay, okay,” James muttered to himself. “Right,” he straightened to attention, “what do we know?”

Albus just shrugged.

“Is he supposed to be here?”

Albus shrugged again.

“Fat lot of good you are.” James looked around the crowds still making their way to breakfast. “You!” He pointed to a first year in Ravenclaw robes, “Get my sister, would you?” He gave the girl a waggle of his eyebrows and she ran off into The Great Hall with a giggle.

Albus rolled his eyes.

“Head Boy charm, Alby. Now,” he turned to Scorpius, “tell me everything. Does he know about yesterday morning?”

Scorpius shrugged, “How would I know?”

“Probably not,” Albus said, “seeing as how there hasn't been Howler from mum- Wait!” A gleeful smirk crept across his face, “Unless, he's here in person to-”

“Okay, Al, you're on interference. Dad does not get to speak to McGoo. Go!” 

Albus didn't move, “What do I get?”

“A grateful big brother?” James tried with his Head Boy charm.

“No dice.”

“My broom?”

Albus just shook his head.

“Cash?”

“Scorp, we should get going, I think I fancy sausages today and Jenkins never saves any,” Albus made a move to leave.

“Fine,” James relented. “One favour of your choosing.” Albus looked his brother up-and-down then turned towards The Great Hall. “Two! Two favours, anytime anywh-”

“What do you want now‽” Lily interrupted with a scowl. She stood before the three of them, hands on hips, four foot eleven of pure outrage inherited from her mother and both grandmothers.

“There's a troll in the dungeons,” Scorpius said casually.

She rounded on her eldest brother, “Ugh, again? Stop calling Dad that! Here's here to cover DADA while Professor Wellerby's away.”

“And DADA's in Scorp's Dad's quarters these days?” Albus asked.

She turned on him, “They're grown-ups, Albus. Dad's allowed to spend the night with his boyfriend! Merlin!”

“Lil,” James said in his best knowledgeable big brother voice, “we know that, but let's focus on what's important here. Does he know about yesterday morning?”

“When you smashed The Fat Lady’s frame playing Quidditch in the common room? Probably. Who cares?”

“Who cares‽” James spluttered. “He's gonna be furious.”

“Puh-lease,” she rolled her eyes. “Roxie and Dom were caught trying to sneak into The Hog’s Head and Fred left a litter of blast-ended skrewts in Filch’s mop bucket; the headmistress probably hasn't even noticed your pathetic cry for attention. Anyway, Dad’s got more important things to talk to Professor Malfoy about.”

Albus shot Scorpius a less-than-subtle look and casually inched away. 

“Hugo said that Rosie told him she heard their dad tell their mum that dad has was gonna propose to The Ferret,” Lily continued, patting Scorpius on the arm. “That's what Uncle Ron calls your dad. ‘K bye!”

**Author's Note:**

>  **Prompt:** Pick One: 1) "There's a troll in the dungeons!" - "Ugh, again?" ~~OR 2) Bringing the other food when they are sick/forgot to eat OR 3) "The ceiling's never done *that* before."~~  
>  **Word Count** Minimum: 76 Maximum: 677
> 
> Whoop Whoop for the mods and #teamsortinghat
> 
> Also available in [tumblr flavour](http://postjentacular.tumblr.com/post/180756278652/theres-a-troll-in-the-dungeons-drarropoly-6); come say hai.
> 
>  **Standard fanfic disclaimer** : If you recognise it, it belongs to J.K. Rowling; this is just fanfic for nothing other than entertainment purposes.


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